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A FEW FUNNY YARNS FROM OVER THE YEARS

"Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."

DUGGY - HOW TOUGH IS HE?

Nunya Boys just don't like to miss a Sydney tour. Ask Duggy. On the Saturday night before the 2003 Sydney Tour, Duggy was involved in a car accident. The accident and the circumstances leading up to the accident is a story in itself. Duggy was discharged from hospital on Wednesday and we flew to Sydney on Friday morning.

Stiff sore and feeling sorry for himself Duggy made the annual pilgrimmage to Sydney as he didnt want to miss out. All day Friday and Saturday he complained of a sore neck and back, but this didn't stop him from dancing and playing up like a second hand "Victa". On our Saturday morning stroll from Kings Cross to The Orient Hotel to commence our regular "Sunday Shout" Pub Crawl. Duggie continued to complain about his neck and shoulder pain.

By this time, the Nunya boys had had enough and told him to stop his bloody whingeing.

On the Tuesday after we returned to Brisbane, the pain had got worse. Duggy went to see his doctor who ordered new X-rays. when the X-rays were done and examined, the doctor informed him he had a fractured vertebrae in his neck and that Duggy was extremely lucky that he had been resting since the accident, as he could have damaged his neck further resulting in him being paralysed from the waist down. The doctor still does not know that Duggy spent 4 solid days on the grog in Sydney, dancing, jumping walking etc.

He's a tough little nut our Duggy and we no longer think he is a whinger (well not much anyway). One thing for certain is he hates to miss the Nunya Sydney Tour.

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MILLER - "THAT BLONDE'S PERVING AT ME"

In the early days, the Nunya's used to consume copious amounts of alcohol at the Bourbon and Beefsteak Hotel (commonly known as the "Bourbon and Beef" - now the Bourbon). One night, guite late and after several Jack Daniels (his favourite drink), Miller swaggered over to the bar to exclaim "that blonde over there keeps perving on me". Stunned, Reedster and Bank Manager asked which one? He pointed towards the entry to another bar area. There were three blondes standing about 20 metres away. We asked which one and his reply "the curly haired blonde in the white dress".

Without a pause Reedster ordered another JD for Miller, then told him to woof this down "because that Blonde is a bloody full life statue of Marilyn Munro". For those who have been to the old Bourbon & Beef, you would know the statue we are referring to.

Miller took his JD and went over and started a conversation with the statue. the conversation lasted only a minute, about the same time most of his conversations last with women.

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REEDSTER - "IS THAT RICHARD HARRIS YOUR'E WITH?"

Saturday night, once again in the Bourbon and Beef, the boys were sinking a few cleansing ales after a big day at the races. The bar was chockers and the live music pumping.

Typically you would meet so many new people in situations like this and Reedster is no exception. He would fair dinkum strike up a conversation with a leper (not that there is anything wrong with that). For awhile we were all in conversation with different people, many of them asking us "what does NUNYA stand for". They got the usual reply "NUNYA f*cking business".

We had noticed Reedster in deep conversation with a bloke who dead set looked like Richard Harris, complete with beret, beard, glasses and grey woollen overcoat etc. We thought nothing of it.

Later on, the rest of us except Reedster, were having a drink at the bar, when it was asked "Where's Reedster?". Don't know was everbody's reply. Being intrigued more than concerned, we decided to have a look around. We found Reedster asleep at a table leaning on "Richard's" shoulder. we were cacking ourselves laughing. We went over to wake him up, but he woke with a hell of a fright. He jumped up, knocking over the table next to him, spilling Rum & Coke drinks into other patrons meals which they had only just started.

Fair dinkum we could not stop laughing. We later found out from Richard Harris (real name was John) that he was gay and that Reedster had been asleep on his shoulder for about 20 minutes. John wasn't game to wake him in case he gave him a fright (that's ironic). Reedster shouted new drinks for the people who had their's spilt and lucky for him the other people were able to save most of their meals.

We have never seen John (alias Richard Harris) in the Cross again, but we never let Reedster forget the night it cost him 4 Rum and Cokes to sleep on a gay strangers shoulder for 20 minutes.

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ANSETT FOLDS - NUNYA'S MAKES WAY TO SYDNEY BY CAR.

Reedster, Razor, Bank Manager, Duggy & Miller stranded in Brisbane with Ansett tickets & accommodation booked through Ansett.

The arduous drive to Sydney. Left Munruben at 6.00 pm. First drink stop Beaudesert Hotel at 6.17pm. Bank Manager Driver & Reedster Co-driver. Duggy Razor & Miller Drinkers & Navigators. With full esky and plenty of XXXX, JD cans & Bundy cans etc we headed further south to Boonah for convenience stop & another top up at 6.40pm. This continued on the hour every hour through to Sydney. Last pub stop at Moree at 10.35pm.

Arrived at Gazebo Hotel Kings Cross at 7.30 to find our rooms cancelled. Able to obtain one room with three single beds. Not available until 10.00 am. Straight to rooftop for a swim and freshen up.

Bank Manager decides to use sauna. Good thinking except that Reedster turned off the heat. Bank Manager emerges slightly blue after 10 minutes of pouring water on the coals to no avail. Room great having to take the mattresses off the bed bases to accomodate five of us left 2 of us sleeping on what felt like corrugated iron. Oh well we only sleep around 2 hours per night.

Unfortunately we had to depart on the Monday and it is a long way to drive after a big weekend. Thanks Ansett.

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BANK MANAGER - SPOTTED WITH ONLY JOCKS IN HALLWAY ON ALL FOURS

It was an afternoon with all of the Nunyas at the Star City Casino. Feeling a wee bit peckish we ventured outside the Casino to a nearby Buffet Restaurant. All you can eat for around $25.00 seemed quite reasonable. The buffet also presented some wonderful Japanese food. The noodles were sensational in soup which Bank Manager & Miller tried. All was well except that Miller didn't know what that dark red ground powder was and put two tablespoons in the soup. Pure ground hot chilli it was! One mouthfull of soup sent him running to the bathroom with his nose mouth and throat on fire. After a few gallons of water the pain subsided to an acceptable state. The other Nunya's with tears streaming from their eyes after continuous laughter decided it was time to head back and have a drink back at the Vegas Hotel.

On the way Bank Manager & Miller decided to call at the Hotel Room and freshen up as Miller's shirt was ringing wet from the Chilli induced perspiration and his gut was aching and rumbling. Miller went for a shower first but of course did a famous number two before the shower. Problem was that there was no extractor fan in the bathroom and after the shower the smell lingered in the fog. Bank Managers turn for a shower, stripped to his jocks and walked in came out coughing, cursing, spluttering & dry reaching but left the bathroom door open.

Big mistake because the warm air and stench from the bathroom quickly filled the cool air of the bedroom. Bank Manager made it outside into the hallway and continued dry reaching until.... the noodles came back up.

Funniest bloody sight Miller had seen in years, nearly peed his pants looking at him in his jocks on all fours face bright red with a pile of noodles which looked like worms in front of him. Miller cleaned up the hallway but wished there was a camera around.

Result - Bank Manager went to bed where he stayed till 4.00 am, Miller went back to the Vegas Hotel to inform the others of this hilarious outcome. Next morning Bank Manager emerged for breakfast with all of his facial blood vessels burst. A shocker of a sight.

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ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

As usual during the 2002 Nunya Tour we met a lot of interesting and friendly people.

Recently whilst salvaging some photos, which had been in the car door pocket of Bazza's car for 4 years, and trying to pry them apart Miller had visitors over. One of them spotted a photo and exclaimed gee that looks like Netty. Turns out Netty drinks at the same local pub in Brisbane as Miller.

What a buzz to give her the photos 4 years later taken of Netty, her sister Suzie & her friend with the Nunya's at the Beef & Bourbon Bar back in 2002. Just as well the Nunya's always behave themselves whilst away!

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BAZZA - BANK MANAGER ATTEMPTS MANSLAUGHTER BY SUFFOCATION

It was the early hours of Sunday morning and after a hectic day out at the Races and a few wind down drinks afterwards at the Vegas, Bank Manager & Miller decided to call it a night.

Bazza had already retired to the room as he suffers from Sleep Apnoea and requires the assistance of mechanical breathing apparatus. This unfortunately has a volume regulator which clunks and sounds something similar to Darth Vader breathing. As Bazza was sleeping in the third bed closest to the door he had to rig the machine to a powerpoint over the other side of the room which left the control panel, yes you guessed it, right smack bang in the middle of the room where Miller & Bank Manager had to walk.

Well as you could imagine they entered the room slightly intoxicated with their drunken whispers and didn't want to turn the lights on for fear of waking poor old Bazza out of a deep sleep so they tiptoed in to the sound of Shlurp .......... Kachunk ............ Shlurp ............. Kachunk ............ Shlurp ............. Kachunk of Bazzas breathing machine. Then suddenly in time with an expletive uttered by Bank Manager (which cannot be repeated) as he stepped on the control panel, the machine flew into top gear... Slop Klunk Slop Klunk Slop Klunk....very closely followed by Bazza sitting up groping and clutching his neck and face gasping for breath. He eventually undid the velcro ties and ripped the mask from his face and regained normal breathing.

Unfortunately this was too much for Miller & Bank Manager as they absolutely lost it nearly peeing their pants. After a good laugh the boys finally got off to a short nap ready for another big day.

 

MORE TO FOLLOW SHORTLY - COME BACK SOON

 
Although the Nunya's are committed to Social Interaction, hard partying and good old fashioned fun we are also committed to the responsible consumption of alcohol ...........but by the way, thats nunya bloody business either !!
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